I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
