dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
