You're completely useless in the revolution.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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