Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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