But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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