She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
