The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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