O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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