You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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