Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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