did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
