Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
What a dumb baby whore.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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