im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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