i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wish i was in the wii world.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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