I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
