Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
