K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
