you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
