If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
