Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
