I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
