The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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