Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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