so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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