The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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