Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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