call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
