Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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