i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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