Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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