Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
