Plan B is the new Plan A
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
