The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
