it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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