Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
