We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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