after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
