you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
