lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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