how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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