It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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