Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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