I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
