Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
