Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
