You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
