brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Pants are for mortals
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