glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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