You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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