Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
