You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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